So this last month has been a lot of fun: we have been in summer mode: camping trips, baseball games, visitors visiting . . .its really been a lot of fun. And, we are trying to build a business! So, today I’m going to talk about Resilience.
Upon my return from an amazing trip to Italy – I found out that three participants cancelled out of a seminar that we had scheduled for the end of July. They just had too much on their plates. Big things happening at their organization, etc. Ugh. It was a little like a kick in the stomach. I know I was jet-lagged and was not feeling great. Lack of sleep can really be the cause of so many poor reactions to things. I decided to step away from my computer, literally turn it off and walk away. I kid you not I just curled up and fell asleep. I was bummed. I fell into the loving arms of my husband, George, who is a constant reminder that we are trying something new. We don’t know a lot, and, we are learning a ton. And, it will all work out. There is that great line from the movie, Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: “Everything will be alright in the end so if it is not alright it is not the end.” No truer words were spoken. Thank you to the writer of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Deborah Moggach.
And, I was bummed. So needed to step away. Take a pause. Sit back and not think about the business. Never underestimate the power of a pause! Monday morning came around and it was time to re-evaluate. We still had a bunch of people confirmed. Now we just needed to re-jig the plan so we could do the training – which was 5 weeks away. So maybe we could garner some more late-interest. Debbie and I worked our contact lists, shaking the trees. We were gathering some interest and we had set a plan B – more intimate. We would carry on with the training. Ok, I thought, we can do this.
We know that we have something to say. We know that we have training that will be helpful to managers to be more successful at their jobs. And at our core, we believe that if you dare to BE HUMAN, [you will] DO BETTER WORK.
So, cut to three weeks away from the training, we are in contact with our remaining participants, and slowly but surely all of them cancel out of the program. All of them. Legitimate concerns and issues for each of these participants. And, again, I am bummed. But, strangely, not as bummed as I was earlier. I remember thinking – well this is certainly clean. All of our participants said they want to come in October. They love the idea of the program. They want to do it. The timing is just not great. So, yet again, time to step away. George and I go and do some errands. I just needed to step away – rather than – I am not sure what . . . stew? Worry? Mope? Anyway, it was good to get out of the office.
The next morning, Debbie and I get on the phone. We start talking – about the disappointment, sure. But we quickly move on. I am reminded of the definition we use in our programs around Resilience:
- able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. Synonym: strong, tough, hardy
- able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.
Look at us being Resilient!!
We looked at these cancellations not as a condemnation of who we are, or what we are trying to do. We did not attached these cancellations to some story that our program sucks, or that we are inept. All things that I think some of us can do when things don’t work out the way that we think that they should!
Rather – we stared to get curious about what are we learning? What’s working? What’s not working? How can we adjust? What should we adjust? Is it the timing? Is it the length of the program? Is it time commitments? Etc. Etc. I thought, here we are springing back into shape after bending or being compressed!
Now, as luck would have it, we had already planned on doing some strategic work around this and had scheduled some outside help to help us with this. That is happening this week for us. So – how perfect is that?
I received an email from a dear friend – Beth– after I explained my ups and downs of my business and she wrote in an email, “I love how you’re choosing to feel what you feel, take good self-care (a night out with your hubby!), and then…move forward anyway, without having to make it a story or identity, staying open and curious to what wants to emerge.” That cool to read because I had not thought of it that way. It was really wonderful to have it reflected back to me like that – which, in turn, inspired me for this podcast today.
I think a lot of us are out there trying to make a difference. It works well some days, and not so well, others. There are ups and there are downs. There are good days and bad days. And, what we are doing has not been done before in this way, at this time and by you.
So a couple of things to think about when you get hit with your next disappointment, or something that could take you down:
- How can you not attach this to WHO you are? Don’t make up a bunch of stuff that is just not true about this being about you, or your identity! Those stories are designed to make you stop trying.
- How do you stay curious? What is this experience telling you? There is good information in there somewhere – what are you willing to look at? What are you willing to try differently? Maybe let go of? AND, what are you not willing to try differently, let go of? Be in that conversation with yourself and stay curious!
- Lastly, a favorite quote, again, from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: “The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment.” So – create a new relationship with disappointment. Disappointment will happen – and you get to decide how you want to be with it?
Thanks for joining us for this week’s 5-minute Epiphanies to Mine the Mess for Success – Tips, snippets and Stories. For more information check us out at https://www.stepupleadership.com. And join us next week we’ll be talking about . . . more messes and how to find resilience in conflict!!